My dad not being able to care for eight children, we were placed in foster care. In one of many foster homes I was in during the next six years, I was brutally beaten by one of the ex-foster boys still living in the home. When I became of age I met a man and married. After nine years of being with a man that was insecure, possessive, and demanding I got out of the marriage. I immediately got involved with another man that promised me the moon. The physical, emotional, and sexual abuse began right away. It was a living nightmare of hell. I tried to leave him many times but he would find me, beat and rape me. He had raped me of my self esteem, dignity and I felt I couldnt go on. I tried to take my own life with pills and alcohol. Luckily I did not succeed. I decided to fight back and get my life back. I started making plans for my escape to leave and to never return. When the time came to leave, after six years, I had maps, names and phone numbers of safe homes. I left one night in the middle of a blizzard with only what I could fit in my car.

Months later, I was again drawn to another abuser. Ten more years I endured abuse. The abuse ended finally when he became sick with cancer and passed away. Several months after his death, I met a wonderful man. Watching for warning signs of abuse I kept up my guard. This man was different. I almost passed him up because I was so afraid of getting into another abusive relationship. He helped through the depression, the bad dreams, the anger, and helped me to build back my self worth. He was patient and understanding. He encouraged me to do the things I wanted and knew I could.

I went back to school in 2002, got my high school diploma and then on to college for a year. I wrote my book, Living Nightmares of Abuse, which is now being published. Dont ever give up. There is life after abuse; there is a rainbow, just look for it.