Unless you've been fortunate (?) enough to have been raised in a 1950's sort of family, you may be completely unaware of some of the things I'm about to address.

Certainly, today's ads on television would leave you, not only clueless, but mis-clued.

Whether or not we're Professional speakers--meaning that we get paid for our talking--we're often called upon to say a few words before or after a dinner. Perhaps you're making a toast, or introducing the main speaker. You may be urging people to consider funding a project or donating money or services to an important cause.

You may be seated in the place of honor at the head table. You're special. People look at you. If you're especially well-known or admired, people watch you. They may want to emulate your speech, your actions, your style, your manners.

Now, back to the television ads: What do you see when someone is eating food that's being advertised?

Scene One: You see a woman sit at a table, smile, plunk her elbow on said table and pick up a spoon. She then uses her elbow as a fulcrum, turtling her head foward to eat the supposedly yummy food in the spoon. Her elbow stays firmly anchored throughout the ad. And, of course, she smiles, as though she'sdone something quite remarkable.

Scene Two: A man enters a restaurant with his buddies. Smiles at the waitress. Orders. Plants his left forearm on the table. Leans forward. Food is served--about 12" from the edge of the table so a to not disturb his arm.

Now we have a choice here: Either he can lay his right arm mostly on the table, lean forward with his head 4" from the food to slurp it up. Or. Like the aforementioned woman, he can settle his right elbow on the table, spear his food with his fork and pivot it into his mouth. Classy.

I'm telling you, people, that you will have already lost the respect of some of your audience if this is your dining style!

6 RULES OF THE TABLE:
1. No part of your anatomy is in contact with the table. The table is for food only.

2. Your left hand remains in your lap, unless you're cutting your meat or eating a bite (a small bite) of your bread.

3. You sit up straight and carry bites of food to your mouth, not your mouth to your plate.

4. You cut one small bite of food at a time. You eat that. You cut another bite and eat that.

5. You never take a drink of anything while you still have food in your mouth. Swallow it. Then drink.

6. Don't talk with your mouth full. Eat slowly and enjoy the food and the company.

I have a client--well, many clients--who complain that this is "too hard". Poor babies. Exert yourself, if you need to, to consider other people's sensibilites. It'll definitely win you friends and influence people.

Good manners of all kinds go with success. Have a ball! Be a success!